Hi, howdoIknow;
Welcome to the forum!
First, please know that NO ONE causes another to be an addict or an alcoholic. Oh, sure, addicts will *blame* another for their actions. But, unless we force the dope or the booze into them, we are not ever the cause.
I do think you will find some real help at live Alanon meetings. There, you can get a sponsor who will help you find a way to live that will allow you to find serenity. Right now, it seems as if you are in need of some peace.
Being dual diagnosed is very difficult to deal with. It's rather like a chicken an an egg situation. And only time, committment and effort on his part can sift through the overlapping issues and help him find a way that stabilizes him.
We can be supportive of his positive efforts on that behalf, but, in the end, it's his issue to fix. I know this; my son is dual diagnosed as bipolar and a heroin addict. I've been dealing with it for 13 years. By detaching with love, I am able to keep my own sanity -- that which was once very truely threatened.
The serenity prayer always helps me:
G*D, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (another person),
the courage to change the things I can, (myself and my situation),
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Remember, we didn't cause the addiction; we can't control it and we cannot cure it. But, we CAN learn to cope with it.
I wish you well on this journey, and hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!