SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Tips on how to leave an abusive relationship!

chero · 05-13-2007, 06:11 AM

Thanks for posting this Dolly.

I just wanted to add something to it. I called the hotline a couple of days before I left my AH and they gave me a number to call for a local shelter in my area.

I called that number last night after AH was making threats. I thought maybe it would help someone else to know what they told me.

They said if I wanted to go to the shelter they would have someone meet me and take me there. If I needed someone to hide my car they could do that, too.

They provide emergency 911 cell phones in case someone gets in danger while going to work or leaving, etc.

You are allowed to make calls while there but you are forbidden to contact your abuser while there.

If you need someone to go to court with you to help you get a restraining order they will do that.

If you get to the local shelter and feel like you are still in danger, they will move you as far away as you need to be to feel safe.

They do offer counselling. It is free of charge. And you don't have to be living in the shelter to receive it. They have counsellors available during the week for people staying and not staying at the shelter.

And they are very nice. When I first called the national number I hardly knew what to say and I cried a lot. They don't care. They will talk to you and comfort you and offer you advice. They are very nice. And if you call and need them to call you back they will do that, too.

I called at 1:00 this morning and talked for 1/2 an hour. They don't care. They understand.

They know what they are doing and they know what you need to do so please don't hesitate to call them. Even if all you do is cry. Call them even if all you do is ask questions. Call them if you even think you might need them. I hesitated to call them because my AH was only physically abusive when he was drinking and some how I could explain that away. Of course, he was verbally abusive sober or drunk. I wish I had called them sooner.

It was very eye-opening!

I was so afraid to call and someone said to me, "It's just a phone call."
She was so right. Although I hung up three times before I finally let the call go through.

Please, please, don't hesitate to call them!! You'll be glad you did!!

Thanks again, Dolly

~Cheryl

05-13-2007, 06:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
chero full of hope Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,170	Thanks for posting this Dolly. I just wanted to add something to it. I called the hotline a couple of days before I left my AH and they gave me a number to call for a local shelter in my area. I called that number last night after AH was making threats. I thought maybe it would help someone else to know what they told me. They said if I wanted to go to the shelter they would have someone meet me and take me there. If I needed someone to hide my car they could do that, too. They provide emergency 911 cell phones in case someone gets in danger while going to work or leaving, etc. You are allowed to make calls while there but you are forbidden to contact your abuser while there. If you need someone to go to court with you to help you get a restraining order they will do that. If you get to the local shelter and feel like you are still in danger, they will move you as far away as you need to be to feel safe. They do offer counselling. It is free of charge. And you don't have to be living in the shelter to receive it. They have counsellors available during the week for people staying and not staying at the shelter. And they are very nice. When I first called the national number I hardly knew what to say and I cried a lot. They don't care. They will talk to you and comfort you and offer you advice. They are very nice. And if you call and need them to call you back they will do that, too. I called at 1:00 this morning and talked for 1/2 an hour. They don't care. They understand. They know what they are doing and they know what you need to do so please don't hesitate to call them. Even if all you do is cry. Call them even if all you do is ask questions. Call them if you even think you might need them. I hesitated to call them because my AH was only physically abusive when he was drinking and some how I could explain that away. Of course, he was verbally abusive sober or drunk. I wish I had called them sooner. It was very eye-opening! I was so afraid to call and someone said to me, "It's just a phone call." She was so right. Although I hung up three times before I finally let the call go through. Please, please, don't hesitate to call them!! You'll be glad you did!! Thanks again, Dolly ~Cheryl