[Debaucher]

I am ready and WANT to do my 5th step... I really am at the point where I have lost interest in my 4rth... you know beating a dead horse...

I am no longer unable to face my darkest most painfull secret... the worst thing I did drunk still hurts but I can face it. I can tell another human what I did... I do not want to face being judged for it by people I know though! I am ashamed of it. I find it despicable...

Ok that being said I wasn't ready to do my 5th for sometime and I was too ashamed to tell anyone that so I dragged my feet for a bit... then my sponsor quit asking me about the 4rth step... quit asking me about the 5th step... he actually stopped showing much interest in me. Which is fine... perhaps good. (this is already getting to long so I'll try to get to the point)....

Today I told him I am ready to do my 5th step... and asked him what I should do. He asked me if I had a pastor/priest. I said not really... which is pretty much the truth. I don't go to church much at all and I have never really made the church my church... it is my wife's... He said... well or a close friend...

He then told me he would do it and consider it an honor but that he was concerned it would affect me, that I would be afraid to be judged and it would lessen his ability to be a good sponsor for me.

Honestly I didn't want that. I wanted him to say... Here call this guy... he is a priest and an alcoholic he has heard 100's of 5th steps and he can help you...

Why didn't I just tell him that?

Ok all you out there past the 5th... what do YOU think I should do... advice... or care to tell me how you picked the person you did your 5th with?