You guys are great. I know i'm not ready..and tropikgal...you are the best..I already bought one of those...I miss being held and cuddling...that is what i miss. I know I'm not ready..and he isn't pressuring me anymore because I didn't return his calls after I posted because I knew it was causing the anxiety...I have to laugh at myself, I find that I am developing a fetish for big, strong, hairy mens arms that hang out a truck window when they are driving...thats all I'll look at, the arms...I'm doing good, nights are hard. Thanx for being here..........Marian