[Biscuits]

Just wanted to share MY experience and thoughts about my addiction. I truly believe today that i was born with a compulsive personality and that if i hadn't turned to food at such an early age then i'm sure i would used another substance.

I always knew i was different to other kids or even my brothers and sisters, i just didn't think like them. I reacted differently to situations that arose daily and was convinced that i was adopted and did not belong in my birth family. I used to think that my ED was triggered by the abuse i suffered as a child but more investigation has led me to think i already had the addiction before the abuse happened.

I was one of six kids and am the only one i think with an ED, why is this? When i am with my family they see our upbringing totally different to me. It amazes me how differently i see things to them its almost as if we were raised by seperate families.

Food was always important to me even as a child, as long as i could get enough of it i was okay, it made me feel good and changed how i was feeling. I can even remember the high certain foods gave me back then.

My whole attitude to life was different to those around me, my thinking just seemed off beam even as a child. I look back now as an adult and know in my heart i was a basket case when it came to emotions.

This all intensified as i got older as things in life got more comlicated, my addiction grew with this and took me into a world of my own. One where my ED was at the center of my life. The bingeing, purgeing, fasting were all i thought about and controlled my everyday. They took me to some very low places in life and led me into a life of existing rather than experiencing life.

I'm glad that i got desperate enough to walk through the doors of OA and into a new way of living, those simple twelve steps have truly given me a life worth living today but never want to forget the low points my ED took me to and hopefully remembering them will stop me becoming complacent about working my program.