[teke]

well, he relapsed.
after work, he called, had to meet his probatin officer. he was concerned about going there cause he has a pending case that he got after prison. after 4 hrs, when he didn't show up and didn't answer the phone, i thought that he had gone to jail, so i called a few jail to find out that he wasn't there and then i knew.
no need to call the cell anymore, so we all just went on with the day and night.

he called this morning with all the i'm sorrys, but i expected that.

all i can say is thats his stuff and as long as it don't continue to effect us then i'm ok. he brought money this pay period, but i did let him know that the next time he goes off binging with all the money, for him not to come back here. i explained to him that me and his mom is not helping him and that i would not live the way that i've lived in the past.

he say he understands but i know thats just for today while he's crashing.
he wants to tell me that he can't live without me, and i'm telling him that he can and that he can save all the talk, don't want to hear it.

it funny but i'm not upset, there must have been a reason, why i couldn't get all open emotionally to him. i didn't expect anything more than a relapse, just came a little later than i expected. i don't know how to explain my feelings, other than they are the same as usual. his junk, not mine. he's all depressed and that his depression, i don't have anything to be depressed about, i'm doing what i need to do so far to keep me sane.