| Don't know
I do not know what I want...I do love my husband very much...Plus, my religion states that I should stay unless my husband actually cheats...I am having doubts and thinking that my preacher and such are wrong...I just do not know what to think. My husband has a way of twisting things around and I get so very confused..I know that I have my own issues and am not the wife that I should be...I am trying so hard to be a wife like I should be...I know that my husband has been under a lot of pressure lately..He always acts like this when over stressed. There has been many issues that has hit us the past few months..Then again, my husband has always had an anger issue of which he has always blame me for it...We will be married for 23 years this August..I am just not sure if I have the strength to continue in such a marriage that I am in now...I have people tell me that he is abusive...However, again I do not know what to think...I am not exactly the easiest person to live with...My mind is so confused...I just want to get so drunk or so high that I do not have to think about anything anymore...
I have tried to encourage my husband to go to couseling at least through our church..He believes all our problems are my issues...However, he too has his own addictions/strongholds..My husband has gone a few times to church..Then decided not to go anymore because he didn't like what the preacher preach. Which was mainly men's responsibilties and such..
The director of the addictions/strongholds program at my church told me that he would talk to my husband. My couselor from the church said that
some men from the church should confront my husband about his behavior..
I am afraid that this would only make things worse. My husband reads his Bible almost daily and confesses to be a Christian. I was told that if he is a Christian as he states. Then he should be willing to listen to the men from church...In fact they said it was the church men's duty to confront another man, if they have fallen...I just do not know...I do know things has gotten to get better. I am just not able or willing to be the naive quiet wife anymore and let things go...Everytime I just let him get away with such behavior it is like he kills a part of my soul...I can't explain it...
I do not want to put my parents in such a situation. Plus, they can be very difficult to get al0ng with...They have many health problems and in daily pain. This causes them to be very cranky at times espeically with kids..
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