[bonbon]

I want to thank you all so much for the comments. I appreciate the words because they make me think. Thats why I love this place so much. My main issue I have with talking to him about what he does is that I do not want to show that as a weakness of mine, although it is. He is not fully aware of my twisted up self esteem, I need to realize alot of this is just me. And thats where it just sucks sometimes, as I know that I have alot to be proud of. I guess in my mind these past few weeks I know I need to work on my physically, and it steps alllll over my feelings when he does stuff like that. Makes me feel like Im nothing to look at. Thats just the way it does me. So I already know I wont communicate that issue with him, but I know its important to get it off my chest, Im hoping this is a good substitution.

I do need to be more aware that I am doing this work on me for me. I need to work on that. I need to work on alot of things. Thats for sure. Sometimes I feel as though its all I can do to get through an hour at a time. I have really down days. Maybe once I start seeing progress with this weight loss I will start to feel a little bit better at a time. Thank you all.