[Cynay]

One thing that I have discovered is often the issues and emotional chaos get worse when they are not drinking.... or maybe it just seems that way to me.

This is a hard time for her, Im sure it must be really hard to deal with emotions after numbing them all the time. Im not even convienced that they understand what they are thinking, feeling, wanting.

However that does not mean that we need to be punching bags for there emotional chaos.... That does not mean we lay down and let them wipe their feet and not take care of us... In fact I think it is more important then ever to take care of us and protect ourselves when they are riding wild on that rollercoaster ride.

I tend to be too tolerant and let the people I love the most keep me in that ride.... but I think what happens is we become someone we dont want to be and start loosing respect for ourselves. They can keep doing it and loose respect for us as well. There comes a time when I just have to say NO... this hurts and Im not going to keep letting myself hurt. I will not participate in your drama when there is no growth, and just detach, walk away and refuse to participate. I can still love them, when they get it together I can still be with them, when they are ready for love and growth I can participate then... but If I stop letting them do this to me, maybe they will get the message and stop doing it.