i can sense your anger and frustration, and i know how hard and difficult it is. but, do you really think you'll be happy in this marriage?
the way i see it is: we only live once. you can take this opportunity now to move out on your own, to buy a puppy or a cat if you don't already have one, and get through the pain that way. i hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like this marriage is going anywhere, and chances are it's not going to be the happy ending you've thought it would be.
do you still love him? do you love yourself? you sound so miserable and unhappy and it makes my heart hurt for you. if you can only control yourself, what can you do to make your life better? write some ideas down and do one of them. living alone and being alone shouldn't be your reasons for not wanting to leave - although i can understand them! you don't deserve to be treated this way or feel this way AT ALL, and i can bet you that you won't be alone forever as long as you have the strength to pull away now, while you can.
you know what you deserve, and it's a lot better than what you've gotten. if you don't change the direction you're headed, you WILL end up where you're going, and so will he. please keep posting! i hate to see others in this kind of pain, i know how difficult it must be