This is a topic that hits close to home for me, because my AGF and I re-connected when she was just about 4 months sober. She and I had dated off and on last year while she was drinking, and as much as I cared about her, I couldn't deal with her when she was drinking, and she refused to get help at the time.
We started hanging out as friends a few months ago, and in what was completely unexpected to both of us (honestly), we ended up back together in a relationship again. Now, I even brought up the "first year" thing to her, and she said she had thought about that too, and that her sobriety does come first, but that since we were together before, she felt comfortable with me, and more importantly, safe with me.
Things are great with us right now, after a rough patch that ended last week and we both learned a lot from. I've since started going to Al-Anon meetings, and continue to take her to her AA meetings whenever my schedule allows.
It still worries me though, both selfishly that I don't want to lose her if she decides that she can't truly handle the relationship right now, but also unselfishly that I don't want to be the cause of any stress - and I know that no relationship is ever easy and without stress - and don't want to end up being a trigger to her relapsing.
Anyway, I appreciated the posting...Maybe I'll run into you out there in West Marin
