Welcome to SR,
I'm glad you decided to come by and share your story here.
His behavior towards you does not 'come with alcoholism.' He is abusive.
I urge you to read the stickys marked 'abuse' on the top of the forum page- his behavior will escalate and you need to be prepared.
Please stop and think of how you would feel if a sister or bestfriend of yours was being treated this way... what you say to her?
He accuses you, is cruel to you- blames you and then tells you that YOU are not allowed to cry? You don't need to be strong 'for him' you need to be strong for yourself.
Is he the kind of person you want to have a family with? No child deserves to live with that behavior...and it will be directed to kids just as easily as it is to you now.
I hope you will keep coming back here to share about how you are doing- I know that you may have a hard time accepting these replies but I hope you will keep an open mind and know that many here have been in your situation.