Welcome to SR Bird Dancer you have found a great site, with lots of Experience, Strength, and Hope (ES&H) to carry with you on your journey.
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I'm wondering if the medicine/alcohol combination is the culprit.
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In all likelihood YES.
Alcohol should be avoided when on any medication and especially when taking meds for bi polar or chronic depression.
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I'm beginning to believe that maybe I am an alcoholic.
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Only you can decide if in fact you are an alcoholic. I would suggest trying some AA meetings and listening for identification. If you listen and look for the "simiarities" rather than the differences it will help you in your decision.
Just as a side note, the first 6 months I went to AA meetings, I really knew nothing about the 12 step program that they adhere to, I just felt SAFE in the AA meetings. These were people that had been where I was. Give it a try. It might just give you some of the peace and sernity you are searching for!
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.
Love and hugs,
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God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road
Of Happy Destiny (especially when you
trudgin thru alligators up to your butt)