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When I relapsed I felt like crap. Like I was letting everyone down. And you mentioned that all you thought about was the pills. That's a horrible feeling, to be chained to a craving like that. I feel so much better about myself when I'm not using. I too, craved the whole time I was clean. I didn't go to meetings; I think it would help. I started going; sporadically, but it's a start. Maybe you can too.
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