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Old 03-27-2007, 09:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
shutterbug
A picture's worth a 1000 words
 

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,947
Blog Entries: 5
haha...thanks for making me smile Bozo...i needed that

Sunday evening I put everything together in my head...which was that I was actually dealing with old feelings and emotions for my last relationship with the alcoholic...and because this guy had so many similar physical and personality characteristics...that I was actually projected those onto him.

I mean their names are even almost identical...just 1 letter off.

Anyway, Monday morning he responded...that he didn't know how to respond. I thanked him for responding anyway (often a hard thing for a guy to do...i know this) and told him of my revelation. I told him it was just a moment of "temporary insanity" and that once I realized everything...that i was back to my old self again...and that all is good.

He's a sweet guy and understood...and hasn't avoided me like I had thought he would have. He just told me to let him know if he steps over the line.

I, of course, wasn't completely trueful in saying I was back to my old self. I still think of him many times a day...not not with anything close to the intensity of before this weekend. And i've realized he's not for me anyway, but...i still get nervous when I see him. Luckily..that's not but usually a couple of times a day in passing -- if that.

So....i'm just going to try to figure out what is missing from my life as it is. Something is off kilter ...i've dealt with the gambling issues...then this whole guy thing pops up....now my mind keeps thinking it's time to go shopping.

This all tells me...i'm just not a whole person yet....as I had hoped i was getting closer to becoming.

Anyway, that's all. Back to focusing on trying to fix me....yippieeee (sarcasim...i was SO looking forward to a pleasant break filled with lots of kissing LOL)

Jenna
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