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best · 03-25-2007, 12:35 AM

A good rule of thumb... Listen when they talk.

Us guys tend to give solutions. You ask a question, I give an answer.
I ask a question you give an answer. We understand each other.

Women don't work that way. They ask a question (share a problem) and most times that is all they are looking for...someone to listen as they dump out the bad thoughts or emotions of the day. They are not looking for answer as we would be. They are looking for... "I understand" Yes that is stressful" "You worked hard, why not take a rest?" Will they rest? Maybe not but they will feel better because we listened and tried to understand what their day was like.

When she says...just leave me alone... maybe ask if she wants to share what is bothering her... and then "just listen"
If she says no just get away from me and leave me alone... In a soft loving tone agree to her request but first ask.... Well can I have a hug first?
Such little things show them that we care.

03-25-2007, 12:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,166	A good rule of thumb... Listen when they talk. Us guys tend to give solutions. You ask a question, I give an answer. I ask a question you give an answer. We understand each other. Women don't work that way. They ask a question (share a problem) and most times that is all they are looking for...someone to listen as they dump out the bad thoughts or emotions of the day. They are not looking for answer as we would be. They are looking for... "I understand" Yes that is stressful" "You worked hard, why not take a rest?" Will they rest? Maybe not but they will feel better because we listened and tried to understand what their day was like. When she says...just leave me alone... maybe ask if she wants to share what is bothering her... and then "just listen" If she says no just get away from me and leave me alone... In a soft loving tone agree to her request but first ask.... Well can I have a hug first? Such little things show them that we care. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?