[best]

Originally Posted by CatsPajamas

If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam, Questions & Answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
I will give 1/4 point for that answer. I would have given a full point had they answered... guitarist brothers Nick and Tommy DeVito and bassist Hank Majewski and the lead of the group Frankie Valli
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
1/2 point for a strong effort

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Full point for thinking it through and putting it in words that make sense to any who would read it

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this !)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Full point for the use of common sense

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Theorized it very well. Full point and would have given extra credit if they found some way to add in the Sun info.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Wonder what this kid would say if asked what are hemroids?
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Full point given for this...Why? because as you get older, you tend to gain wisdom and you soon find yoyrself saying...I don't give a crap and then you go on a trip.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
If a girl answered this...full point. If a boy answered in that manner...5 points subtracted (maybe we can teach one what is good and right *LOL*)

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Full point with 5 points extra credit. What a smart kid.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Zero...no points at all. They forgot the ...and some times "Y" as a vowel.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
I will accept that answer...A point for giving a laugh anyways.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
True. Very true. Viens that are near the surface. Full point.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Excellent understanding of word roots and even had the country correct. Full point.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Flips a coin...Ok this one gets a 1/2 point for struggling and coming up with a some what close answer that makes no sense *LOL* As any kid knows...after 8 you become 8 1/2 before you become nine.

and little Johnnie shouts from the back of the room...Teacher Teacher...I have an answer and the teacher makes a choice at that point... It is time to go out and play boys and girls.