[anewday2day]

Hmmm I thinking right now aobut beign powerles.. for along time i always thought powerless meant only being powerless once I took a drink but the more honest wiht myself that I am powerless from not drinkng when it is in front of me ...or when I am depressed....Or whatever i am POWERLESS to not picking up. Unmangeable.. Hell yeah.. I havent been married but manged to screw up every relationship I ever have... Its funny cuz.. I am So phony when I am drinking. denial .. I fool myslef into thinking I am this fun party girl and I actually fool everyone else too. It feels safer to be in that denial place... then to admit I am screwd when it comes to boos. the illusion only last so long though.. I always ended up doing something tragic. Last week i fell on a table and broke it, was not let into a club forr being wasted, and had the cops shw up at my house cuz of suicide threat.. really unmangeable.
I rember one time walking my dog in this trredy neighborhhod and thought.. Hey i will just have one beer. the next thing I knew I was blacked out and woke up at a stangers house with my dog (he was not on his leash) and lost purse and everything...OMG.. Powerless.
Hey i got 3 days today and have sober plan for tonight...yay.