[shutterbug]

okay...Anyone know any good posts among the forums that talks about what a healthy relationship looks like in the beginning????

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I've been on this self-discovery/awareness/healing journey for quite some time and with no relationships to really distract me. Several months ago, my brain decided it was time to start thinking about guys again. Oh bother.

That scares me a great deal (seeing how the last relationship is how I found this site to begin with)!!! If loneliness and heartful desires could be gotten past....i'd be happy living the rest of my life without ever trying to find a guy and a relationship that won't tear me down.

I guess i've had one eye on this guy who works in my company for about 10 months now.....but just an eye....maybe even a half an eye. He was on my radar, but that was it.

Within the last month, somethings changed and it has progressed to where I am now thinking about him literally from the moment I wake until i go to sleep again. AHHHHHH!!!!! This is not good! Not good at all I tell you!!

I hate this. I finally just decided it was stupid to play the "guessing" game and I finally told him Monday that I like him and want to get to know him better. The fact that he didn't avoid me after that, but rather, he seemed to respond to my frankness....well, it didn't put me at ease like I would have thought. The next day, right of the bat he went right in for a very typical flirting tactic of purposefully bumping into me and squishing me between him and the doorway. It was quite obvious. Well, that made me feel good to have gotten that kind of attention from someone i'm interested in.

And I've been on codie alert BIG-time and have yet to see any of those "red flags" in him. To me...the only red flag is that I'm attracted to him!!! I've only ever been attracted to the bad boys...and is why i've stayed away from men for several years now. I've been busy "re-wiring" my guy-radar, so to speak. So it's possible he's an okay guy....but I can't be sure yet...it's too early.

The biggest thing is....I just want to know if he likes me or if he's just flirting with me the same as he flirts with many of the girls in the office.?? Something about the way he looks at me, or doesn't, makes me definetly feels like this is more than just him being is normally outgoing, awnry self, but I could easily be lying to myself too. I don't know and it's driving me up the wall!!

And I feel stupid for acting like a luv-sick teenager....but I can't make myself stop thinking about him. And that alone make me think that even if he could have feelings for me...I need to run as fast as I can away from him.

Any and all thoughts, opinions or suggested online readings are MOST WELCOME!!! I'm in need of some codie wisdom...so i'll post in the friends and family forum, but you guys are my home and I especially wanted to hear from you.

Hugs,
Jenna