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My first thought was she is angry and resentful at her workload and her pride wont let her ask for help. I think when she says she hates herself, she means she hates the fact that she is overwhelmed and somehow, someway, she is letting someone down.
My wife is antsy like that and a workaholic. She got that from her Dad, he is a nervous wreck when he comes to the house and I always have to have a "project" planned for him to work on.
For myself, I find it very difficult at times to live with a person that does not know how to relax, I feel your stress.
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Signature made by my son Alex.
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