I do these things. I will make her lunch and put a little love letter in her lunchbox. I will come home with a present for no reason. I will go the extra mile with many things. I do them because I hope, that even for a moment, if she is happy and forgets about everything else around her, then I'm happy in that moment.
A lot of her stress comes from dealing with her mother. Her mother has Parkinsons syndrome, and is quite old. She gets angry at her easily, and she knows that it's wrong, but she can't help it. I often have to step in and remove her from the room and tell her that I will deal with whatever is happening. An example: Yesterday she was complaining to her mother that she doesn't exercise her legs enough. I agree. She doesn't. BUT instead of trying to motivate her, she talked down and got upset. I removed her from the room and told her that I would talk with her. I got her up out of bed and acted as kind of an instructor on how to walk from one end of the hallway to the other. Her mother did it, and worked hard at it. When all was said and done, I thought "Good job." but my wife was quick to critisize her with comments like "Why can't you do that everyday like you said you would." I then have to step in and say "Be positive, she did well today. Tell her that and she'll have no reason not to do it tomorrow. Talk down to her and she'll wonder 'why bother'." BUT in saying this, I upset my wife. My wife knows, she says she knows, that what she says to her mother is wrong, and how she deals with her mother is wrong...but she doesn't know what to do. And at this point, neither do I.
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Originally Posted by nevergivingup  Maybe she's just not ready to get help. I know for myself, being a real controller, getting better and dealing with stress has always been something that I want/need to accomplish on my own. I think ultimately she knows how to make herself feel better but may feel like she needs to go through what she's going through right now.
You can't make her get help. But, you can help make her feel better about herself. I know these things seem superficial, but perhaps doing little things to make her feel loved would help get her through her day and motivate her to want to enjoy her day like buying her flowers or leaving her cards with messages on them. Just a suggestion!!!!
Much love and hugs! |