|
thank you all so much - I appreciate all of you!
I'm obviously spiteful about having to take the meds. Mostly, I feel they are f*ing up with my sleep. I hate this!
Here are my reasons for not taking them:
- I'm scared that I'm gonna have to be on them for the rest of my freaking life! - FEAR
- I don't want to be dependent - EGO
- Really scared they aren't gonna help me! i.e., i'm a hopeless case...
- Plus, my inner child wants me to be STRONG and POWERFUL on my own! As I'm writing this, I can see how fantasy is taking over.
- Finally, I'm scared of taking a pill daily for 9 months - that's a lot of medicine to put in one's body...it freaks me a little. I need to do research on the long-term impact of Anti-Ds, do they stay in our system, and if they work, if you don't take them daily.
I've been on them for about 1.25 months, slowly increasing my dosage. So I'm in week 5 of cymbalta. I can see my thinking changing and getting better. I seem to see things better, and have more perspective. Plus I catch myself thinking more positively. So all these are very good things.
But depression is not going away. I still feel it. But I think I'm better at dealing with it and it's not debilitating me as much...
I wonder if I have to take it EVERY day??
I just know I hate the idea of taking meds.
I guess these are all things I need to discuss with the doctor. I'll call her and make an appointment...
Thank you so much! I'd like to share about the decision I make later...
I hope people understand if I choose something different, like not taking them.
What kinds of things happen when people stopped taking them...? xoxo
|