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Welcome to the forums Shonda.
You've found a good group of people who will listen to all you have to say. There are many here who have gone through the same thing and who understand. I know what it feels like to feel invisible and isolated in a crowd. That is one of the symptoms of depression and anxiety. When I first found these forums I could hardly talk at all. I held so much in I forgot how to talk. I was alone in my little world with no one who could relate.
It must be very hard to lose two of your coping methods. We do what we need to do to survive even when those methods aren't healthy. At least they kept us alive for many years. There are other ways though and if you keep moving forward you'll eventually learn new ways of coping and find treatment that will help you.
Don't lose hope. I found my way out and I know you can too. I was and still am a tough case.
Hugs,
MG
__________________   “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came. And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
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