SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - suicidal and self-injuring

undertheseas · 03-12-2007, 06:11 PM

Hi everyone. I'm taking a break from my suicidal ideations for a minute. I really want to die but I am afraid to do it. Im also a cutter. I have been sober since 10-9-06 and have recently had gastric bypass surgery... so no alcohol or food to use to deal with life.

I can be going along and everything is fine but when I start feeling alone I just want to die. Sometimes I cut. I can't deal with the loneliness and I don't want to be here. Even in my home AA group, which is full of wonderful and supportive people... I am alone. There is certainly no safe place to talk about wanting to kill myself and cutting. I feel like I am sitting there covered up and nobody can see me. I don't know how to maintain relationships or reach out to others. I just want to be dead. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember and meds don't seem to work for me, at least not very well or not for long.

I have a lot more to say but that's all for now. Thank you for reading.

03-12-2007, 06:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
undertheseas Shonda Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Baytown, TX Posts: 10	suicidal and self-injuring Hi everyone. I'm taking a break from my suicidal ideations for a minute. I really want to die but I am afraid to do it. Im also a cutter. I have been sober since 10-9-06 and have recently had gastric bypass surgery... so no alcohol or food to use to deal with life. I can be going along and everything is fine but when I start feeling alone I just want to die. Sometimes I cut. I can't deal with the loneliness and I don't want to be here. Even in my home AA group, which is full of wonderful and supportive people... I am alone. There is certainly no safe place to talk about wanting to kill myself and cutting. I feel like I am sitting there covered up and nobody can see me. I don't know how to maintain relationships or reach out to others. I just want to be dead. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember and meds don't seem to work for me, at least not very well or not for long. I have a lot more to say but that's all for now. Thank you for reading.