| SOOO Scared
Hi all,
I started to post last night, and then got too scared to actually hit the "submit" button. Like, if it was in print it was real, and I have been trying to lie to myself for quite awhile now. Last night, I couldn't lie anymore. I finally hit rock bottom.
About me, I'm 31, married to a great guy, and have always been a pretty hard partier, but generally I kept it to the "normal" nights. Then I took a new job which allowed me considerable freedom, and I started drinking when I got home (3-ish). Then I just started working less. Then I just stopped working, and was either drunk or sleeping - with the aid of Ambien, Lunesta, and any other sleep pill I could get my hands on.
Last night I got, quite franky, trashed. Then I took a few Lunesta, woke up, and started drinking the drink I had made before the Lunesta knocked me out. I became so overwhelmingly sad, so I called my dad, who begged me to look into rehab. I called them last night, and they got me in for an eval today. Tomorrow I check in for a 3-5 day detox, and then go from there.
I am petrified. Scared isn't even an adequate description. What happens in detox? How will I handle it? I can't remember not going to bed without some liquor or meds. HOW WILL I HANDLE IT? I am scared of never being able to have a drink again, never be able to fall back on that crutch.
Anyway, I'm glad I found this place; it looks like a wonderful place for support. And if anyone knows anything about detox, please let me know! I think I'm most scared about that...
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