Excellent post, ICU. Maybe you could cut and paste it into a new thread so more will see it.
From the perspective of one who has lived with abuse for half of my life, these things would have made lots of difference to me. Being pressured from both sides of the issue just leaves a woman who is not ready to leave her spouse afraid to ask for assistance the next time because she doesn't want to hear all the 'I told you so' speeches.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ICU  Note from me: I'm not sure that I understand or agree with everything that is written here (like the part about the children...maybe because I don't have any), but perhaps others will get a different spin on it than I did. |
I think the author may have been referring to men who will use the children as weapons to try to control the woman, which is very likely when he realizes he is losing his control over her. Most women will walk through flames to protect their kids from being hurt, and the abuser knows this and uses it. Mental and emotional manipulation of my children was something that my ex did many times, as well as threatening to withdraw financial support or take something away from them. Of course the child doesn't understand this insanity and is left wondering what in the world they did that caused daddy to want to punish them. It sucks!