 HOW do I overcome these things?!?
Im having a rough day today.....I went over to my dads house for the 1st time since starting recovery....I talked to him before about all my feelings (this was one of the HARDEST things I had to do)--via email--and he was (suprisingly!!) really understanding.......but today when I saw him he acted like normal, like nothing had happened....like nothing had changed. I am frustrated b/c I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT NORMAL IS! When I was over at his house, I kept asking myself.....should I do this? shouldnt I do this? Was that an abusive comment? Im not sure.... Am I letting myself be walked on? Am I being overly sensitive? Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Its wierd b/c in any other situation I am starting to be able to figure out whats healthy vs. unhealthy......but when Im around my dad (the alcoholic) its like my mind gets all foggy again and I cant stand up for myself or anything! I realize I am MOST afraid of him becuase from childhood he is the one I most feared.....how do I get over THIS fear??? Of course my other fears are difficult to face.....but this is the worst! When I think about confronting him, I tremble and cry as if someone is holding a gun to my head.... Ugh.......any suggestions?
Thanks for listening, as always :o)
Much Love and support!
Stephanie
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