[Adore]

I wrote a few weeks ago about how my partner was not giving what I felt was very much support as I try and face myself, my past, my mental health struggles, and get a hold on myself.

Well, it's a few weeks later and my life has calmed down from the initial crises I was having. But I still haven't been able to tell him how badly I feel inside, or that I'm pretty depressed...

I don't have the courage to share that I started taking meds, and how they are upsetting me stomachwise, and making me tired...

I'm afraid he will abandon me, from things he's said before, and that will hurt even MORE right now.

I'm too scared to lose the relationship, because he has been my best friend for years. We have been pretty co-dependent...and I haven't made much of an effort to find friends or hobbies since I've always relied on him and the relationship for that. So, it would be a real blow to lose it.

At the same time too, it's hard to be in it like this. It's difficult to "hide" things from our partners.

It's like the anti-thesis of a relationship to me...and certainly the feelings of anger I have towards him make it hard to be intimate...ugh.

The good side is I'm finding myself becoming more independent. This feels right. I'm trying to build up a little support network, and taking the first steps towards independency, but it's a process.

This is my experience right now...if anyone has wisdom, experience to share, I would appreciate it :-)

thanks.