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Lilymae;
Remember, whatever decisions you make can be changed. Nothing is etched in stone. But, you do need to take care of yourself. From your last post, you've got a lot going on. I do hope you call your doctor and get some support. S/he can refer you to a counselor. That person can help support you as you go through this difficult time and make those decisions.
I wish you well.
Shalom!
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