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Hi Bongman,
There is really no way any of us can offer a diagnosis. We are not qualified. When I get too depressed or too anxious I go in to mental health to see if they can do something for me. A lot of disorders and diseases can have similar symptoms. You can't really diagnose yourself from reading symptoms. That just gives you an idea. I think I have everything when I go read symptoms.
I think it's time to address the problem if you are feeling so bad and feeling like you need help . It sounds like you are dealing with some fear also. You don't have to face this alone. There are many members here who will offer their support. Please keep sharing and take it a step at a time. You just need to decide what the next step is. It can't hurt to make an appointment with a psychiatrist for an evaluation.
Welcome to the forums. We are all in recovery together. You're not alone.
Hugs,
MG
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