Texasmamacita,
I´m glad to hear from you. The fact that you go to this forum to ask for help and read about recovery is a sign something in you wants out of this vicious circle.
Belive me, there is hope. But the first step must come from you. It must be a decision to stop - a long-term decision, a real commitment. You will begin to blossom when you take this incredibly hard decision, because it is hard. And recovery is a long process, hard work and determination. Where life on drugs was chaos, recovery is structured. It´s a new technique and it´s extremely rewarding.
I was once lying in a jail cell, suffering from bad witdrawal from Cocaine and God knows what else. That girl is long gone, but the memory of her keeps me going forward. If I could do it, so can you. It ´s a question of giving up on the life you´re leading and making a better life for yourself you deserve.
My thoughts are with you,