mayrose, I'm Stagebear (a.k.a. Da Bear) and I get where you're coming from 100%. I am an ultram addict, enjoying an occasional foray in to percocet.
I know how light that sound, like I'm joking. Read my posts from less than a month ago. I was up to 15 and more 50 mg. Ultram daily (kick started my day with 6 tablets), and chewing the new, "non-abusable" 100 mg. ER's. I have not yet fully exposed in these forums the lengths I went to to assure I could maintain a supply, but you can imagine that, at 100 to 120 per script, 15 or more a day was waaay more than one script.
For me, that was the bad news. The good news is that I was finally able to come clean to my primary care person and he was understanding. He prescribed a regimen, appropriate for me, that worked. I'm still having sleep issues for which he is
temporarily medicating me, but my other withdrawal meds are long gone.
A taper would have been inappropriate for me. I could never be trusted to taper, and i refuse to invest the responsibility for my journey (my word for "recovery") on anyone else.
Feel free to PM me if needed.
I truly have been there, recently...hell, I'm still there but a WHOLE lot better.

All my best, sincerely,
Da Bear