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Hi, Swimmer;
For the last 10 years of my mother's life, I cut off most communication. If she called I was polite but distant because she was a crappy mother and I felt no love for her. So I certainly will not judge.
As far as defending yourself, why should you? You feel how you feel and there's no law saying you have to love your mother. If family members give you a hard time, like mine did, I just shrugged it off.
The only thing I will say is to not cut it off viciously. Just distance yourself physically and mostly emotionally. That's how I did it with my mother and when she died a couple years ago, I felt no left over guilt because I was never mean or hateful.
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