soinlove

I'm not sure what to do or how to handle this relapse.. It's different, he's angry at the world. He was going on 8 months sober& had to have acl surgery.. There was a complication and he now is facing an additional 4-6 weeks of recovery for that. He was stressed about the original time off/ being cooped up so long , but was handling it, going to meetings and holding on. But when he got the news about additional recovery time it put him over the edge,& drinking started and it's bad, he's drinking vodka, the one thing he avoided at all costs on in prior relapses. And he seems angry.. Hes been telling me to shut up, which has never happened before. He's in a bad place & I don't know what, if anything I should do. Do I call someone , do I let him jus work thru it? Ignore it & take care of me... I'm a nervous wreck, & my anxiety is thru the roof.
I know I have no control, this is his decision about the choice heskes to do this or not. I'm still going about my life, going to work, seeing friends, etc.. But I need advice, from here.. It's been 3 data & each night it has happened again
This side of him is the polar opposite of who he is, & he's told me ( in Dover times) how much he hates this and being that guy. But ultimately only he can choose..
What do I do ?

Maudcat

Well, you could leave, maybe? Do you have a safe place to go?
sounds like things aren't so good and you should get out of there for a bit.

Anchored

The last time my AH had a relapse, I made my boundaries very clear: I wouldn't be around him. I knew I had to reinforce my boundaries at all costs so that I could really take care of myself without his heavy shadow over me, or worrying about what might be said that I'd overhear and still get hurt by, or what I might see that would stress me out.

Your ABF knows what's going on...and if he "hates that guy" then he can't very well fault you for honoring your own boundaries when it comes to him when he's in that state. I second Maudcat's suggestion: getting some space, finding your serenity, and truly taking care of yourself is a valid need.

Maudcat

How are things today, soinlove? You okay?

clem24

Well, its quite unfortunate you are going through this right now but like others have said; please find someplace safe for the time being.