My anxiety has always been horrible. Sometimes it got so bad I couldn't leave my room.
A lot of times in crowded places, I'd just freeze up. My mind would start working over time and I couldn't even hold a conversation. I'd feel like an idiot.
I self-medicated with xanax, a powerful anti-anxiety medication that increases GABA in the post-synaptic gap (like alcohol). Soon I became addicted, I think any naturally anxious person would also. This ended badly when I began to pass out in the middle of the street and steal other people's things. Although it did stop the anxiety for a couple months...
Of course, eventually I built up tolerance, where I needed 6 pills just to feel normal. Withdrawal was a hell I'll spare describing here, suffice to say it involved hallucinations.
I've been clean almost a year of all benzos, and 6 months of all drugs and alcohol. Meds can help a lot with anxiety, I recommend finding a good pdoc, instead of self-medicating. Tell him you don't want any benzos (unless you suffer acute panic attacks which you probably don't).
The worst thing about social anxiety is I find it impossible to make friends. Before my anxiety onset, I used to have plenty of friends, I was even president of my high school class. It is unclear to me whether the drugs came before the anxiety or the anxiety came before drugs, or whether it was a synergistic demise.
Either way, I HATE anxiety. I'd trade almost any other problem for it. Everyday is a battle I must fight my anxiety-driven cravings with logic. I tell myself it is only my over-zealous amygdala trying to help me. Well, sorry for the tangent. Hope you can relate. Please reply.