BabeGirl,
ACA stands for Adult Children of Alcacholics. In France we call it Adult children from dysfunctional families.
My grandmother tought me to smoke when I was five and gave me brandy when I was six. She thought I would become such a sophisticated girl - but I ended up in jail as a teenager. It took me years and years to earn respect from my family and my society and to be able to hold down a respectable job position with authority. I still get comments like: "Not bad for an ex-con," when I have achieved something worthwhile in my work. It´s an ongoing prize for having a past, but it still hurts terribly.
Now I volunteer in helping ex-prisoners to readjust to society and I cannot tell you how rewarding that is.
I have forgiven my grandmother after a long process of understanding her actions and letting her go.
I hope this sharing helped you a little.