 Someone please read...I just need some help
Hi...um well...I think i have Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar by my psychologist becuase since i am only 18 she said she only diagnosed BPD for "adults" and so she just dismissed it and diagnosed me with Bi Polar. I have read alot into both and I definatley think that BPD is more me than Bi Polar. I have always been the type of person who could put on a face...and make it seem like i was okay when really everything was falling apart. I always have intense mood swings...which unlike Bi Polar happen so frequently i can have up to 10 in one day. And they happen in a split second. Another characteristic of BPD is intenses fear of abandonment and i definatley have that...I am also paranoid and have a fear of being betrayed (especially in relationships). One more big characteristic of BPD that i have is the inability to consistanly feel love from people if they aren't there. That actually shocked me when i read it because I have had that problem for a long time and i always wondered why i felt that way...like if my boyfriend isn't with me telling me he loves me...I just can't feel it. It's like if he's not right there telling me and showing me affection than it doesn't feel real. And I can't seem to think about everything a person has done. Like if there is a problem i only think about that and i can't grasp anything else taht the person has done except the thing they did wrong. This is really hard for me to handle....especially since I'm still a teenager and in High school none the less! I also have a bad habit...i cut myself...I have for about 2 years and i just can't stop...i feel like the only way to relieve my anger and pain is on myself. And usually I don't intend to kill myself...just to cause myself pain. Even though when I'm doing it there really is no pain...I feel numb and so i just cut and scratch and well anything else i can do and it makes me feel somewhat better at the time. Well....I don't know what anyone can do about it but if you have any advice please feel free to share it with me...i need it! Thank you so much!
~BeautifulChaos7~
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