[VioletAntigone]

Hi, it's been a while since I've posted here, but I have some things going on that I know I need to open up about.

I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, and I have not been going to meetings for a number of months, mostly due to anxiety/OCD. I've also been extremely involved with my work (although I have my own issues, I am able to work at a mental health facility without being affected too much by my anxiety/OCD, as it centers mainly around social situations).

As it stands right now, I parted ways with my old sponsor because she simply could not understand/empathize with the fact that it is EXTREMELY difficult for me to be in many social environments (including meetings). My support group is also pretty limited due to this (as with most things, the anxiety/OCD comes and goes at different levels...sometimes it's not a big deal for me to go out and do stuff, and other times it's literally a nightmare).

So while I've been thinking about how I need to apply the first three steps to my anxiety, etc., I've been having some serious issues at my job that are beyond my control (and have nothing to do with my own mental health).

I have been a dependable and empathetic employee where I work for almost two years, and for the past five months I feel like I have been doing everything I can to keep the place together, as we have had a major change in staff and administration and I've been the only person to stay. We've had two different administrators in the last five months, and I've done more than my share of other people's work while the new staff/administrator learn their responsibilities.

Our new administrator has already fired two people who have both been with the organization for years, and seems to be instilling an environment of fear and suspicion with everyone who works there. As a result of all this, my hours have been cut, I'm now working between two different facilities, and I feel really screwed over and taken advantage of.

Anyway, my real point is that I know I will have some serious anger, hurt, disappointment, etc. when the feelings really start to kick in, and with my social phobias and mild OCD it's extremely hard for me to get out to meetings where I feel comfortable, and find support.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I have a lot going on right now, my feelings/anxiety are getting really stirred up, I'm obsessing about the situation, and I don't want all of these things to come falling down on me at once and cause me to relapse.

If anyone wants to share their success stories (or their journeys) about dealing with recovery, mental health issues, and hard realities in life that everyone experiences, please share your feedback!
Thanks for being part of my recovery