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Oh boy...relationships!! One of my favorite subjuects!~ lol
I use to never talk about my feelings & what I really wanted! I've always assumed "they" know how I feel, they can see through me!! Crazy huh?? My biggest fear is REJECTION!! then comes 2nd ABANDOMENT!! I'm stilll learning in my counseling program that I go to on a weekly bases, why I am so co-dependent!! I hate it! I use to come across as the Happy person with NO problems & everythign is going just fine in my life!! But deep down I've been sad, hurt, hurt & hurt again!
I've taken my pain & hurt into new relationships cuz I didn't solve those issues from where it stemmed from, make sense??
In my mind if my relationship isn't working out, I go on a "fixation" rampage!! I obsess with trying to fix it!! and then when the other is co-operating with me, I would go nuts, crazy (but not insane, KWIM) I'd obsess in my mind all about the relationship, I'd get so depressed that I'd be at work, in body but not in mind. I couldn't think of anything else but why he did this to me, why did he do that. why won't he just say sorry to me so i can stop feeling this pain! My world revolved around this!! I'd forget to eat, drink, I'd be dehydrate & starving by the time I got home from work, hope this is making sense...lol
Until my doctor made me go to a dietaian, I weighted 99lbs. I cryed & cryed, (normally I weigh 116 lbs) I didn't want to die! I'm not the suicidal type, at all!!! NO way No how!!!
Now my dietian is fattening me up, I'm up to 106lbs dringking my "resource protien & vitamins" drinks, and boy I'm really starting to feel great!! I'm not so sure now if it The Resource drinks that are making me feel so awsome or if it's my Wellbutrin that I'm taking!! hahahaha!!
But like Tammie...the rollercoaster rides of relationships (nodding my head) I sometimes say..."Hey Mr. I don't like this ride anymore, I want off this awful ride!! lol (saying it in my mind!!
Tammie....WooooooooooooooHooooo the Texas Giant!!!! Look at me Noooooooooooooo Hands!! You've gotta try the new "Batman"" holy moly!! what a rush! lol
I hope I made some sense here, I really don't know where I was going with all this! lol
__________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!"  ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~ |