[kojac]

Personally,I'd took advantage of a lots of people and family in the mist of my active addiction no matter how great the pain were; or no matter how much the threats;nor the many promises of what they feel they needed to do (putting me out). In my own stupidity I honestly believed that this might had been the ideal situation for me.....being out in the streets. But the reality of it all didn't set in until I were in the streets;for real,for real on account of me simply not being " responsiable " and being accountable for the mess I hand made of my own self-seeking attitude and destructive behaviour. This then is when reality really sinked in for me.......The pain of drugging and making foolish decisions really came to its head. And, I realized it was time for me to deal with this wrecked and self-prisoned life I'd made for " myself ". And it was only then that I were wholeheartly seeking, asking and willing to allow help to help me. I than understood even at the age of 46 that I didn't know what was best for me; and, that I didn't honestly "know" how to live. So with my family "turning there backs" on me; and allowing God to have His way with me was the best thing that had happened for me. So in our sharing with this I pray God grant you wisdom......seloth@. tfs