AM,
You are at a state of emergency right now. Here's some resources for you to read right after you make a call.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html
Please call the Samaritans in your area first. Here's a phone number and more.
call us : 020 7734 2800 (branch)
call us: 08457 909090 (UK)
visit us: 46 Marshall St, W1 (9am-9pm)
email us:
jo@samaritans.org http://www.samaritans.org/~cls/
It's not the fight with your b/f that triggered this type of severe response. It's the chemical imbalance in your brain. You need therapy, yes, but, you need emergency treatment now. Please call, and let us know how you're doing.
Shalom!