[Sheryl85]

The major problem I too had with the 8th Step was finding some of the people I needed to make amends to. Thankfully that Step says “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to the all.” The operative words in the case I’m describing are “became willing”. There were some folks I never did find, but if they were to walk in the door or I should run across them right now, I’m willing to make amends to them… unless like Step 9 says it could cause them further harm.

One person I needed to make amends to and went looking for I found in Hugo, OK. Unfortunately in this case it was in the cemetery. I went to the grave and told him "thank you" for the times he had kept me from harm and let him know that I recognized the things where I had been wrong or had done him wrong. After that it was all up to making a living amends. I don’t need to repeat the errors I made with him, I need to practice this program to the best of my abilities, be of maximum benefit to others, but most of all stay sober and do God's will for me today. By-the-way, any hard feelings I had harbored against him faded into insignificance.

I don't know if this will help, but when working this Step if you would like a good definition of “harm” , you can find it in the 12 & 12 on page 80. It says, “To define the word “harm” in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people.” It sure helped me to keep things in perspective. I hope that this helps some...

Good Luck!