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Wow. Thank for the reply. After I wrote last I did have a sense of relief that I was moving, however reluctantly, in the right direction. I sort of feel I took a step to make myself accountable.
You are right, it is fear of the unknown. I see my therapist tonight and plan to bring all this up.
I think along with just facing the fear,which often seems trivial compared to the anxiety I am willing to sit in for too long, I need to work on good old "willingness"...
I woke up with the word "surrender" in my head. Yeah, time to stop fighting this.
I find it interesting that there seems to be a pattern of these issues coming up after a period of sobriety. Could it be that this is a natural progression of one's recovery. Heal your body and you mind first, then, start healing your soul? OK. I am feeling a little more ready.
I am so grateful for this forum. Honestly, I would be at a total loss right now. And, knowing me, I probably would avoid this like the plague. Having some honest but caring responses from all of you is so tremendously helpful for me. It is harder to deny what everyone else clearly can see
Thankyou, thankyou, I feel this board will become a very important lifeline for me. I already love you all!
Kathleen
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