My Good Bye Letter
When I quit smoking..one of the things I did that really helped was write a good bye letter to cigerettes...I wrote one today for pot...just wanted to share...
Dear Marijuana:
We have had a love affair for many years. You have been the most important thing to me. I have begged, borrowed and stolen to get you. I needed you. You ruled my life. My days revolved around you. Days without you were sad days.
You have stabbed me in the back. You lied to me. All this time you were fooling me. Days with you have become sad days. I am tried. Burnt out. Unmotivated. A crappy mother. I have isolated myself. I have stopped making friends. You rule my life. I am powerless over you.
Well..I accept defeat. I accept that you are in control. I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL. I wish we could just see each other on the side..you know..once in awhile kind of deal..but you see..I AM AM ADDCIT.
I will say it again...I AM A ADDICT. When it comes to you its all or nothing. Quite honestly there are drugs I would prefer over you...you were just a crutch to keep me away from those other drugs. ...now I don' t want any of you.
I WANT TO BE CLEAN. I want to have a clear head. I want my money situation to be cleared up. I want to strive for something more. I don't want to base my friendships on pot smoking anymore. I no longer want to be around addicts who are not in recovery. I want to be CLEAN.
I accept defeat. I am helpless when it comes to you. You will always win. I will never control you. You will always have control.
Today my thoughts were on recovery and my life without you..not on how I would get some to smoke..not on sitting around feeling like crap becaues I am a big burnt out. My thoughts were on what my life could be like without you. I am turning the control over to God. and we all know that you can't mess with God.
I will miss you for awhile I am sure. but one day I will look back and think oh I am so thankful for recovery. I can imagine myself doing it. I can see it. I can imagine what that will feel like. I can imagine how much better my life will be and all the friends I will have and how much better my relationship with my children will be. My already somewhat sucessful career will be soaring. I will be working on my masters. I will have energy and be in Tae Kwon Do again. Oh I can't wait....
So for now I must say Good Bye...I will be thinking about you for a long time to come...but just for today..our relationship is over.
Veronica