Something else my addict used to tell me all the time after one of his binges - he needed his drug in order to feel normal because after awhile the high goes away..... It seems that they are always chasing thier very first high...... and it a chase that they never have a chance of winning.......
The hardest thing to remember is this is not about you when he choose to make the decision to go back out.... I never doubted how much my addict loved me and probably still does to this day... The guilt he carries with him is unbeleiveable.....but the choices he made - are just that - his choices..... and all choices have consequences.... his consequences is that I just decided I can not and will not have anything to do with him any more..... The pain got too great..... sounds silly - but it is easier to not watch himself killing himself....
Ogly