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lillian · 01-05-2007, 09:58 PM

does crying help? i read a post i wrote from a couple of weeks ago about how my husband told me he slept with a girl, but wanted to work on things with me and definetely didn't want a relationship with her, the idea was ridiculous and he would probably never see her again, or would rarely-- i thought this was odd at the time- how does sleeping with someone else equal wanting a relationship? since that time, he hasn't slept with me and things have gone somehow to he doesn't want to stop seeing her, is seeing/sleeping with her, having a relationship with her, and wants separation from me/doesnt want a relationship with me/divorce would be just fine with him.

i have a sponsor, am starting to work on the steps, he's getting his things out-- i read posts here, i know i am not alone, i know i have to work on me and not think about why he's doing what he's doing. i hate myspace-- any time i want i can look up her page, see her beautiful pictures, read her love poems to him. i know i shouldn't ask why (why say he wants to be with me, wants me in his life, misses me, and then doesn't call/has a brand new relationship he's into) I must move on, but i really want to be wrong- i want it to work out. the problem feels new, even though it isn't. its been 2 years since he moved out and asked me for a divorce- he moved out a month after getting sober,so he's got 2 years. some say don't take action, wait, he and I are still changing, the new girl is a new drug- others, like my family, say get a divorce, get his things out, it will help me move on. divorce is symbolic- is it trying to force a solution? we don't have kids, and property is not an issue. the real problem is me reacting, being sad, having no self esteem, being obsessed with him and not thinking of my own life. this is just a venting i guess- you all have given me good advice before. of course i'll always be up for hearing how you have coped. i cry and aren't there supposed to be some kind of enzymes in those tears to make you feel better?

how are you all doing tonight?

01-05-2007, 09:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
lillian Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Los Angeles CA Posts: 136	is saddness a tool? does crying help? i read a post i wrote from a couple of weeks ago about how my husband told me he slept with a girl, but wanted to work on things with me and definetely didn't want a relationship with her, the idea was ridiculous and he would probably never see her again, or would rarely-- i thought this was odd at the time- how does sleeping with someone else equal wanting a relationship? since that time, he hasn't slept with me and things have gone somehow to he doesn't want to stop seeing her, is seeing/sleeping with her, having a relationship with her, and wants separation from me/doesnt want a relationship with me/divorce would be just fine with him. i have a sponsor, am starting to work on the steps, he's getting his things out-- i read posts here, i know i am not alone, i know i have to work on me and not think about why he's doing what he's doing. i hate myspace-- any time i want i can look up her page, see her beautiful pictures, read her love poems to him. i know i shouldn't ask why (why say he wants to be with me, wants me in his life, misses me, and then doesn't call/has a brand new relationship he's into) I must move on, but i really want to be wrong- i want it to work out. the problem feels new, even though it isn't. its been 2 years since he moved out and asked me for a divorce- he moved out a month after getting sober,so he's got 2 years. some say don't take action, wait, he and I are still changing, the new girl is a new drug- others, like my family, say get a divorce, get his things out, it will help me move on. divorce is symbolic- is it trying to force a solution? we don't have kids, and property is not an issue. the real problem is me reacting, being sad, having no self esteem, being obsessed with him and not thinking of my own life. this is just a venting i guess- you all have given me good advice before. of course i'll always be up for hearing how you have coped. i cry and aren't there supposed to be some kind of enzymes in those tears to make you feel better? how are you all doing tonight?