[PaperDolls]

So - I thought I'd start writing again. I've been doing some at home but I don't think it's as well thought out when I hand-write it. My journal, totally, doesn't have spell check!

I've recently gotten a new therapist who is also an RN which is nice because she has knowledge about meds. She works directly with my Pdoc, sharing notes and opinions. I really like her -- she's a no BS kind of chick, they way I like to think of myself. She's been trying to beat into my head that depression is a mental disorder and that I can get better once the meds are right. I'm so tired of trying to get the meds right.

I'm really feeling lately that may be I'm just lazy ...... I'm a procrastinator, and just don't want to do anything. She says it's the depression and she is very sure I am bipolar. I've got a new appt. with the Pdoc this week to talk about a mood stabilizer along with my anti-depressant.

I know my partner, "C", is going insane with all of this. She sometimes thinks I should just get off all the meds because I "was fine before them". That's not exactly true but I understand how she feels. I tend to keep my depressed feelings to myself because I know she's tired of hearing about my "health". It's all overwhelming to her and she just wants the "old me" back. Hell, so do I!

That's all my brain can process right now.