Hi, kwhit;
And welcome to SR!
You did nothing wrong at all. But, I do hear some pretty strong codependent ideas in your post. You can't change another person, no matter how much you love them. I know, cuz I've tried for years to change my addict son. It just doesn't work.
I'm sorry you are dealing with such pain. Perhaps some alanon meetings would be helpful. And do check our friends and family of alcoholics forum here on SR. There's lots of people here to share their ESH, (experience, strength and hope), with you and guide your journey.
Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
Shalom!