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Hi all,
Thanks for the warm welcome!
The hardest part is realizing how long it took me to get to this 'place' and that it will likely take a considerable amount of time to get back. In therapy they keep telling me that I have only scratched the surface - be patient. The one thing that keeps coming home to me over and over is how very ill I am...I knew things were bad when I found myself trying to find ways to commit suicide. That was when I went to my doc for help. But...and...I had no idea if it was helping or if I was still suicidal...then, during one of the classes I was in the therapist brought up some issues that provoked a response of just wanting to die. I was shocked! I had no idea! So here I am in a two week lapse till my next app. and I can see myself regress into old behaviors. They've told me not to drive due to the ify health issues so I am pretty isolated 40 minutes from civilization. (I live on the north coast in the redwoods, about 3 miles from the coast - all but heaven). It's not that I mind being out here, but...I can't attend alanon meetings and I get very lonely. My husband prefers I stay secluded - less intervention from the outside is easier on him. Have to run, baby is crying! : )
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