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yep. that's it. it's the control thing. my deal is that the alcohol is not actively in control, but what i think is alcoholic thinking is still lingering and trying to take control.
i guess that no matter if i have alcohol in me or not, i still have this disease and its patterns of behavior that get me into trouble. i don't at all feel the need to drink and never ever want to slip now that i've finally reached out to real people in addition to my hp (who i call God). but my mind still gets me into trouble.
...it's painful. well, let's not think about that now... i used to take a drink when life was painful. now, i bury myself in something busy--whether its my work or a project or an event--but the skinny is that i retreat rather than work my way through the pain. i guess this is really more part of step 3. but this is what i'm trying to work, get nailed down, and practice.
thanks for the ear and the advice!
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